Lame Excuses No 237

Continuing our occasional series of 'Excuses People Use When Trying To Get Out Of Attending a Thomas Lord Old Gits Gig'. This week, a Mr Rufus W, of Blackhouse Farm, who claims to have kidney stones. He even claims to have collapsed in a crucial board meeting, been ferried to A & E in a hastily summoned taxi (pausing only three or four times to vomit through the door), and then sent home with medical assurances that the excruciating pain will only last for a few weeks, or until he manages to, ahem, pass the offending objects. I offered the use of Dave/Dave's bass/Dave amp at a range of about three inches which would shatter the kidney stones in moments. He turned this kind offer down, so I think he's faking it. Pah!